Most of us remember where we were
and what we were doing on September 11, 2001.
It was my 7th day as a Tennessean, or as a Californian that
got stuck in the mud… whichever you prefer.
I was a church goer in California, so naturally I immediately began
looking for a church here. In fact, for
two years, I bounced around to different churches because I never quite fit in
at any of them. I was an outsider,
socially unacceptable. My singing was
not the “right” style, my praying wasn’t “formal enough”, and my sharing was “too
personal.” It wasn’t until quite a while
later as I continued my education that I was able to put my finger on what
happened.
CULTURE SHOCK
It was a cultural thing! You see, in California, in the church I was
raised in, as well as the one I went to while I was in college, reading the
Bible and learning about God was taken very personally. My relationship with God wasn’t something to
keep to myself and ponder during my alone time, or a journey I walked all by
myself. It was something that was talked
about in small groups and in sermons.
There was always an encouragement to personalize what you learned about
God, share the ways in which you were growing or struggling, and hold each
other accountable for putting those things into action. Brokenness was acceptable.
Church is a bit different in
Tennessee. Now, let me preface this by
telling you… I don’t make friends easily.
Good friends that accept me for who I am, try to understand me on more
than a superficial level, and hold me accountable to be the person God wants me
to be are pretty void in my life. It is
a void I feel bitterly sometimes. That
being said, my hypothesis about the cultural difference between church-goers in
California and Tennessee is the level of personalization that is considered
acceptable to share. Now, please do NOT
hear me say that Tennesseans are shallow, or do not personalize what they are
learning about God, it’s just less socially acceptable to talk about those
things openly. I also don't want to insinuate that either way of thinking or behaving is right or wrong. I suspect those are
conversations that are shared with intimate friends (remember my statement from
above?) rather than openly in church.
So, how do I reconcile my different
way of thinking to being a church-goer in Tennessee? I’m so glad you asked. I don’t.
These differences are irreconcilable.
Instead I hold back. I keep my
hurt feelings to myself. I don’t
challenge other people when the things they say are not what they do. I go to church, and choir, and I worship God,
and go to the social functions and listen to people talk about their lives, and
try to show them that I care about them.
So, now that I’ve shared my
hypothesis (and my hurt) with you, what do you think? I have friends both in California and
Tennessee that are church goers. Is your
experience of church different? Do you
think there are other factors that I am not considering? I am very interested in your comments.
